Hi everyone. It’s been a remarkable past 3 weeks here at the Capitol! I apologize for not updating this blog sooner, but I’ve been incredibly busy taking notes at Congressional hearings, delivering memos, and filing items – such as Rep. Gutierrez’s gigantic photo of Justin Bieber – into the Legislative Archives (FYI, it’s under Immigration Law in the “J” section just after Japanese-American Internment.)
Everyone in Congress has been celebrating this past week! It sure is an exciting time to be an American. (Plus there’s that 4th of July thing.) What I’m talking about is how our fruit-bearing Legislative branch has once again out-bushelled those other two twigs whom supposedly balance out this mighty American oak.
Let’s start with the Judicial branch headed by the ironically named “Supreme Court”. Once in a great while they get thrown a bone and get to deliberate over a matter of federal law. In this case, it was something Congress had already deliberated on for years! Soooooo, all Americans had to hold their breath while they pondered the legality of a couple of pages from the 1990 pages that make up the Affordable Healthcare for America Act. And in the end, of course, they agreed it was fine! Duh.
That might be victory enough for the hardworking Congressmen, Senators, and Lobbyists who crafted the bill; but, instead of just heading back into the locker room for some champagne, the Republican half of the House plans to slam dunk it at the buzzer by voting on a FULL repeal of the entire 1990 pages! (More pages than the entire Hunger Games series, buts less than Twilight.) THAT’S how you do it! Don’t try to out-Congress Congress, Supreme Court. Even your skin-o-the-teeth 5-4 decision smacks of envy.
Congress’s second victory was against the White House and Obama’s team of “appointeds”- as our elected representatives like to call them. Who knows what goes on over there (only the foreign drug cartels, I guess) but when things get really bad, Congress has to ask them over for a talking to.
As an intern, I’m usually put on cushion duty. I and other interns gather as many cushions as we can find and stack them on the committee members’ chairs to give them extra height (30 degrees is the preferred scolding angle, though with Attorney General Holder’s height the committee requested extra cushions. But during this last round of hearings I was asked to fill a committee member’s chair who had taken an early July 4th break. My job was to constantly scribble on a note pad while periodically looking at the attorney general through glasses hanging on the tip of my nose. I wasn’t required to write anything in particular so I mostly just worked on my CSPAN Fan Fiction and played a few tic-tac-toe games with Congressman Quigley who was sitting next to me. He beat me 14 out 20 games.
Once it became clear that Mr. “I didn’t have to make any yard-signs to get my job” Holder wasn’t going to tattle on his friends, Congress once again had to slap the President’s hand by voting to hold Holder (say that 10-times fast) in contempt. A historical FIRST for an Attorney General, I might add! Some might argue that an “In Contempt of Congress” vote doesn’t come with an actual punishment, but that’s not the point. When Congress asks for documents, you better ask “ in what font?”, or you will make them angry! Slam dunk.
That wraps up another great couple of weeks for Congress! Are you beginning to see my point here? CONGRESS IS REALLY ALL WE NEED TO RUN THIS COUNTRY. They can do their jobs plus rule, judge, investigate and whatever else those folks in the court/white houses think they can do. And now that they’re back from their much deserved 9-day vacation, I can’t wait to see what’s in store! Maybe that Justin Bieber poster will come in handy again during the budget debates. I know just where to find it!